Burning Ponys
by Archsteel
Summary: Warning! Contains content that may be offencive to MLP fans. Contains violence and is a short story about orcs from a previous fanfict I did getting lose in Equestria. I am not doing this to insult MLP, but there will be several violent deaths and I may or may not kill all the ponys. There will also be some jokes at the expense of some of the wierder MLP stuff I've seen, enjoy.
1. Meats on the menue!

**Hello! It is I, Archsteel the (Insert some incredibly lame title that I seem to think is awesome for no apparent reason here)! I have come for one reason! And one reason alone! To destroy the world of Ponys! This is fanfict where a large number of Orcs (Lead by one of the main villians for my other fanfict, Hero's of the east) get stranded in PonyLand! Now I have no problem with MLP, infact my sister is a Pegasister. But she forced me to watch several episodes and now I know the main story and the names of all the ponys... So that is why they must suffer in this fanfict! And becides! Its not like you people have any problem with bad stuff in PonyLand... I mean have you SEEN all the pony porn?**

Elguilg grumbled angrily, he had come so close to fall so far... He was hunting Eluil, and waiting to strike after the destruction of Fornost. When news came to him that Eluil was parting to the undying lands he knew that this was his last chance for vengance. So he followed Eluil... He hired a band of Corsairs to take him and a small army after Eluils ship... But then... The STORM hit... And now he was stranded on some random maggoty island...

A small goblin ran torwards Elguilg, happy that HE was the goblin to bring the "Oh so grumpy one" good news. _Mabye..._ the goblin thought _Mabye now I will get a promotion! Mabye now I no need wear chains!_

"Sir! SIRRRR!" A irratating voice called to Elguilg. He turned angrily and stared at the obnoxious little goblin. Grabbing its throat he held it off the ground "What is it YOU ANNOYING LITTLE GOBLIN?!" He shouted in its face. The goblin spluttered and managed to cough out "H-o-r-s-e-s" Elguilg dropped the goblin and stared at it for a moment. Getting to his feet he shouted to the rest of the orcs "HORSES BOYS! Looks like its time for DINNER!"

The random teacher lady pony **(As she will be called from now on**) looked at the young ponys. Most of them didn't even have there cutie **(*Gagging noises*)** marks yet. "This, young ponys, is what we call a-" She said but was suddenly cut off when a arrow pierced her throat. The children screamed and ran in all directions as orcs flooded the clearing, killing as they whent. In just a few minutes the clearing was empty, save for a few blood stains from dragged off ponys...

Meanwhile...

Scootaloo ran as fast as she could, knowing she couldn't afford to look back. She couldn't process what had happened there, she had gotten paper cuts before but she had never seen SO MUCH BLOOD, so all she could do was run. Run and hope they weren't following her... Leaves hitting her face she suddenly saw the familiar sight of PonyVille. Stopping only for a second she ran torwards the town, sobbing as she whent.

The orcs Feasted upon the dead ponys. They hadn't eaten well ever since they got on that maggot filled boat, but there bellys were full now. Yet... Something disturbed Elguilg... Before they had entered the clearing, he heard sounds... Almost as if the ponys could... Speak. But that was ridiculus, he was probably just hearing the grumblings of his own stomech...


	2. WHERE ARE MY HANDS!

**Hello once again! I've recieved several (1) reviews since the last time I posted (I can dream cant I?!) saying that my fanfict lacked a story and was simply just about violence. So this time I'm going to be toning down on the orcs killing and eating random teacher ladys and have some plot development.**

Eluil drousily got to his feet. He felt a horrible pain in his head, a pain that was stopping him from noticing that he didn't really HAVE feet. He had hoofs. Slowly as he got up he heard a incredibly cheerfull voice, a voice that sounded like its owner may be just on a drug high. Turning to see the source of the noise he was bombarded by questions from a rainbow coloured pony (With wings O.o), calmly asked who he was by a purple... Unicorn, and rambled at by a pink pony. He could also barely see another pony, which appeared to also have wings that was hiding behind the others. Slowly he realized that these were TALKING PONYS and he shouted in suprise. Backing away he finally realized that not only were they ponys... BUT HE had been transformed into one. His first reaction was of course, this "AH! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! WHERE AM I?! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?! WHERE THE HELL ARE MY HANDS?!" his calm going clean out the window. This may take some explaining...

The ponys explained to him that he was in equestria, that they didn't know why he was a pony and that they had no idea why he WOULDN'T be a pony. Since any sentient they'd ever known had been a pony (Becides discord, and a few dragons) they had no idea what a elf was. They also had no idea why he WASN'T a elf anymore. Slowly as his questions were awnswered they began asking questions of there own. Rainbowdash's questions were the most harsh and for some reason she had the insane idea that he was some random invador. Pinkiepie's questions were all about partys, when he would be open for a party and if he liked cake. TwighlightSparkle's questions were the most logical and seemed to be the only ones that there was any point to awnswering since the last pony Fluttershy never actually ASKED any questions and seemed to just sit around, whimper and talk to a demonic looking rabbit.

Since they had semi explained to Eluil what was going on he in turn explained to them where he was from and what the strange devices on his back were (Quiver/Bow/Daggers) finally when all explanations had come to a end two ponys burst onto the beach (Applejack and Rairity) "PonyVille! PONYVILLE IS UNDER ATTACK!"


	3. How rude!

**Hello! It has been brought to my attention that I sound incredibly hater like torwards bronys. I infact kinda... Ermm... Like MLP... Not enough to ever actually watch it, but enough to agknowlage it as a good show and yes, half of the reason I'm saying this is cause my sisters a pegasister. But still. :P**

Elguilg charged the small village. By now he had learned that not only were the pony's sentient. However this did not stop him from wanting to kill and eat them, it instead just made the thrill of violence even more enjoyable for him **(AKA He's a sychopath)**. Stabbing a pony and scalping it he looked up to see a battalion of gold clad unicorns charging him. Calling several goblins wielding pikes closer to him, the unicorns stood little chance and were killed. Looking behind him he saw it. Charging him at full speed was a incredibly fast rainbow coloured pegasis, he could barley hold his shield up before it was upon him. The creature was strong **(Rainbowdash presents; Beating the snot out of orcs!)** but he was stronger **(Or not) **and he shoved it aside. The creature fell on several goblins which it immiedietly proceeded to hoof kick the goblins in the face. The pegasis kicked off the gobins and shot torwards Elguilg. Unfortunatly for the pony Elguilg saw this coming and slammed it across the face with his shield. The rainbow creature, on impact with the metal, fractured its skull and fell aside after leaving a considerable dent in the shield. As the pegasis lay incapacitated Elguilg leaned down the scalp it, when suddenly a strange creature caught his vision. Walking amidst the fire and destruction was a wierd.. Goat... Horned... Snake tail... Thingy **(Discord)**. "Well this is all very strange" the creature said almost completley unphased by the carnage "What ever is going on?" Getting up Elguil walked torwards the strange creature "Oh hello my good sir, what is goi-" the creature was cut off as Elguilg decapitated it. As Elguilg walked away he didn't notice that the head had continued to talk after he had cut it off "HOW RUDE!" The head grumbled as Elguilg ran off to kill more ponys

**Hello! I hope you enjoyed! This chapter is a little short I know, but I hope it was good anyways!**


	4. PonyVille Burns

**Hello! The orcish siege continues! I dont own MLP or LOTR.**

Spike was on his normal routine. He swept around Twighlight sparkles home. Normally, this would be the point in his daily routine where Pinkiepie demanded to host a party and trashed the entire house. That or he got a message from celestia telling Twighlight sparkle to do some wierd spell that will teach her more about friendship. Today however it seemed there would be some deviation from this routine as several wounded ponys burst into the room seeking refuge. "What happened!?" He asked. The ponys suddenly realized that they were in the company of a male and seeing as there were only about two or three males in all of ponyville this was quite shocking **(Come on, admit it. Its true!)**. "St-strange monsters are attacking ponyville... They... THEY'RE KILLING EVERYONE!" one of the ponys said while the other shuddered in a corner **(Okay so there may be more than just two or three male ponys in ponyville but there are only two or three male ponys that are ACTUALLY SEMI IMPORTANT)**. "What do you mean?! How can they be killing us!?" Spike said shocked. He had heard of people dieing before... But to hear that so many people were being killed by other creatures was unheard of. "They just are! They... They're enjoying it too..." the pony in the corner said "They're... Evil... Actually... Pure... Evil!" she whent back to shuddering. Spike was about to say something else when Twighlight sparkle and the others burst into the room.


	5. Boom goes the dynamite!

**Warning this chapter may be offencive to some people who like pinkiepie and prefer not to think of her as high every moment of every day.**

TwighlightSparkle ran torwards Rainbowdash, as she lay upon the ground. Blood was coming from a wound in her head and some rubble lay upon her legs. Naturally her legs however were not broken and even though the only thing that touched her wings was a feather, her wings were now broken **(Sorry rainbowdash, its just the way of the world!)** Using magic, TwighlightSparkle pulled the rubble off of Rainbowdash and carryed her away torwards the house. She knew there was no time to save Ponyville, only enough to get a few ponys to saftey.

Pinkiepie was sent after Rainbowdash to help combat the Orcs and was doing a good job at it. Zooming from orc to orc she visciously bounced on them to death **(The horror!)** but as she bounced through the town, slaying orcs she was tricked into a trap. The trap itself was little more than a house with a cupcake in the center of it. But seeing as the cupcake was covered in enough meth to kill a elephent it was naturally irresistable to pinkiepie. Pinkiepie ran into the room and the door was immiedietly closed behind her. The orcs hoping to kill her rolled a metal shell full of black fire **(Gunpowder)** into the room. It exploded enough force to level four houses which it infact did. However the huge ammounts of drugs that pinkiepie has smoked saved her and she was merly knocked unconcious.

TOO BE CONTINUED!


	6. PLOT TOOL!

**I'm stuck trying to burn time... So uhh... Lets have a second chapter today eh?**

RainbowDash **(You know what, this is getting really annoying I'm just going to shorten there names from now on!)** slowly opened her eyes. Immedietly she began screaming and flying around like crazy. Where was she. Why was she here. Memorys came flooding back to her of the fight and a faint memory of Twighlight digging her up. Slowly calming down her mind immedietly whent to the fact that in about 5 seconds she had managed to trash the entire room and everyone was staring at her. "Uhh..." She said "I wasn't... Uhh... Scared... HEY LOOK AT THAT!" she flew torwards Twighlights room. "Oh! your awake!" Twighlight said even though Twighlight was well aware that Rainbow had awoken from the loud smashing noise downstairs. Rainbows wandering mind whent to something that had been bugging her for the two minutes she'd been awake. "Hey hold on, how is it that my entire body is healed. I mean I beat that guy to a pulp but ummm... He ummm... Got friends... Giant dragons and stuff... And bears... With lazer eyes... So I was... Err... SORTA hurt. So how was I completley healed like this?" "Well you see umm... **(PLOT TOOL!:D)**" Twighlight responded. "And you couldn't use this before now because?" Rainbow asked "Umm.. **(Plot tool :D)**" Twighlight responded. This answer was so brilliantly worded that it awnswered every question in the universe and since that had happened the world simply imploded since it had no point anymore. However the world imploding sucked the rest of the galaxy in too. The than spat everything it had sucked up out and everything whent back to normal without anyone even noticing what happened.


	7. Is there whip cream in middle earth!

**Hello! For the last few chapters I haven't had the barest mention of Eluil. Well its about time I put him in the story. I dont own Hasbro or Tolkien. However I do have the creator of Avatar the last Airbender (The movie AKA Abomination) in my basement. I set him on fire. Alot.**

The danger had passed. The orcs had moved on and the ponys were beginning to rebuild. Eluil however, as well as the world saving ponys, were preparing for the next attack. Eluil knew that as long as people **(Well ponys in this case)** were still alive in this world, orcs would attack them. So naturally he had alot to work on. First off he needed to figure out how to use archery without fingers. Secondly he needed to figure out how to get back to his normal form. He did have some concerns about turning back into an elf seeing as he would stand out like a sore thumb to every other living thing in this entire place. But that wasn't something to dwell on right now. Right now he needed to know who the bloody hell "Celestia" was and why the bloody hell they HAD to go and see her immedietly. Another thing he would have liked to know is why there was a little purple dragon, that regurgitated letters. _'All in due time...'_ He thought to himself.

"There it is!" Twighlight said "The palace of Celestia! There lay the elements of harmony. That is what we will use to defea-" "Hold on wait, your going to use 'Harmony' to defeat the orcs?" Eluil interrupted. "They are more powerfull than you know! With them lies the power to defeat anything!" Rainbow said "Defeat anything? Wiiiitttthhhh magic friendship. Thats your best bet? Magic friendship?" Eluil responded raising his eyebrow. "Friendship is the most powerfull magic there is!" Twighlight said. "No... I'm pretty sure MAGIC is the most powerfull magic. I dont think that friendship even counts a-" he was suddenly cut off by Fluttershy on one of her incredible bravery moments **(Oh my god! She's brave enough to ACTUALLY say something! THAT NEVER HAPPENS!)** "FRIENDSHIP IS FRICKEN MAGIC ALRIGHT?!" She yelled at Eluil. "Yes ma-am." Eluil said instantly cowed into submission. Everyone else turned to look at Fluttershy. There faces were all the same. A look of pure shock. "Well... Annnnyyyyywwaayyys" Applejack said as they began walking torwards the giant palace.

"So... Whats Middle Earth like?" Rairity asked Eluil "Well you see its a beautifall land scape of great mountains and forests, the-" He was suddenly cut off by Pinkie as she hopped infront of Eluil "Does it have chocolate rain?! Or marshmellows!? OR WHIP CREAM!? OR MARSHMELLOWS?! IS IT MADE OF CANDY?!" "Well actually you see-" He was cut off once again by Twighlight "WERE HERE!" She shouted to the group. "Yaaaaay" Eluil groaned unenthusiastically. For some reason EVERYTHING was incredibly exciting to these people. As they walked torwards the guards of the palace they let everyone through till Eluil at the back of the line. Stopping him they shook there heads and Twighlight said "Wait here, we wont be too long"

**"Too long" later...**

Eluil groaned in incredibly boredum. Never before had the stars seemed so dull to him. He began considering sneaking into the palace. The guards, he noticed, were both gossiping to eachother how they think that some person named "Derpy-Hooves" so Eluil decided that he had enough of sitting. It was easier than he thought. He walked right past the guards. They hardly noticed. As two guards approached he hid behind a pillar, only to find that there was a secret passage there. Pushing his hoof into it, he crawled through a small cave. His body was surprisingly flexible considering he was a pony. The tunnel started to slant upwards. He traveled up for quite some time before the ground finally evened out. He crawled for five minutes when suddenly the ground gave way beneath him. He crashed through a ceiling and landed right in front of Twilight and the others. Looking around embarrassed he turned to see a large white horse that was sporting not only a horn, but wings. He turned to see a identical black one. Both of them at the same time, recovering from there moment of shock, shot a purple beam out at from there horns. He hardly had enough time to say "Oh bloody he-" when the beam hit him. He looked at his lower half to see himself turning to stone. Before the stone reached his ears he heard Twilight finally say "Wait! We know him!"

**Hope you liked it!**


	8. GET IF OFF OF ME!

**I just read a comment, saying how the "So much blood!" bit reminded him of they Heavy from TF2. Now I am a big valve fan, so I was already kinda thinking of adding valve influences. Now I'm sure I'm going to do that, and I'm going to do that IN THIS CHAPTER! Headcrabs EVERYWHERE!**

The goblin crawled away from the cruel lash of its master, to hide in a bush. The goblins had been set to work bringing down the forest, but it was tiring work and the goblin was tired. In the bush he saw a small creature, instantly he pounced at it hoping for food. However it was faster, the creature jumped on his head and before the goblin could even scream it was fusing itself into his brain...

The orc slavemaster watched as the goblin crawled away. He had let the goblin go with the intent of punishing harshly when it got back. Any excuse to kill something. However he couldn't have predicted what came next. The goblin, a strange creature mounted on its head charged into the clearing. It immedietly killed one of the other goblins and was shot down by a orc archer. The goblin however kept crawling, and three more arrows later it finally stopped. Still alive, yet unable to move any farther.

After some examination of the goblin, the orcs decided to investigate where it the strange creature atop its head came from. Moving into the woods they found a large purple/greenish crystal. Elguilg turned to see the vague image of a man. He was holding a box **(Briefcase)** and was wearing a strange tunic **(A suit)**. The man walked away and Elguilg decided it was a trick of his mind, turning back to the crystal. Suddenly a strange bolt of lightning appeared and another of the strange head creatures appeared, jumping on the nearest orcs head. "GET IT OFF OF ME!" The orc screamed as it began fusing to his head. Elguilg, the closest chopped the orcs head clean off and realised that these creatures could be stopped if the head was destroyed. But this wasn't the only thing he realized. They were appearing around the crystal... Which made the crystal a weapon.

** (MUSICAL INTERLUDE)**

Eluil was having a bad day. First he was turned into a pony. Now he was turned into stone. He did NOT like being stone. Not one little bit. Of course he had no choice in the matter currently seeing as he couldn't move. Or breath. Or talk. Or do anything beyond wish he wasn't stone. As he sat there he heard the panicked voices of his newfound friends **(Friendship is magic. Just like necromancy :P)** this however bothered Eluil because he couldn't make out what they were saying. Suddenly a crack in the stone sorrounding him apeared and he could see daylight again. More cracks appeared and the stone around him shatttered. Getting to his feet he sighed in relief. Looking around he noticed how shocked everyone appeared. "Umm... What?" He asked when the White pony who he currently disliked for turning him into stone said "Why do you look like this? Explain yourself!" "Look like what?" He asked then suddenly noticed that he was back to his normal form. He decided this was a good time to celebrate and shouted "WOOHOO! I AM NOT A PONY ANYMORE!" then suddenly realised how rude this was and coughed politly "I mean.. Umm... Nice to meet your... Umm... Ponyness." "Good to meet you as well. Now explain why exactly you hold the same shape of the creature ravaging our land" She asked "Well you see where I come from this is a perfectly normal shape to be... May I inquire why I am no longer a pony" He replied/asked "The spell I cast on you is one to return you to your original state of being" She answered. "Ohhhhh!" Everyone in the room chorused except the black pony who instead simply decided that she was going to go teach someone the true meaning of bravery by scaring the snot out them. **(The only thing she EVER does other than try and kill celestia)** A akward silence passed over the room but was broken by Pinkiepie summed up the whole day with "I'm hungry"


End file.
